figure out who you are to figure out your next steps

Life has always been hard due to the endless options of what you could do with your existence. In today’s age, life feels even harder because social media has amplified our exposure to what our peers are doing, making it nearly impossible to confidently follow our authenticity. We are constantly confronted with endless examples of how others have found love, success, wealth, and happiness on our screens. So, what’s really motivating us to think independently anymore? When thousands of people are telling and showing you what to do every day, it drowns out your inner voice and sense of direction. This is why self-discovery is more crucial now than ever, and it all begins with understanding your core values. I’ve always known the importance of understanding values because once you gain clarity on what truly matters to you, it becomes easier to show up in the world authentically. You’re less likely to be swayed by others because you have greater certainty about who you are. But lately, I’ve been thinking of the ways we can use our core values to design our best life more efficiently to gain more clarity around the steps we need to take to cut out confusion in our journey once and for all. 

I’ve always defined my values from the things I knew were important to me. For instance, self-development, work, consistency, health, love, and creativity are central to my life. Take ambition and career progression as an example: I place far more importance on these than the average person would. Recognising this has kept me consistent on my path without feeling the need to explain to others why I don’t party or take weekends off. This clarity has made me more fearless in my decision-making and helped me gravitate towards people and environments that align with my values. That’s the power of self-discovery, when you truly know yourself, no one can convince you that their way is better.

Now, it’s time to identify your core values. These are the 1–3 values from your list that feel most fundamental to who you are. If you’re struggling to choose, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Out of the values you’ve listed, which are you most willing to embrace the challenges and adversity that come with them?

  • Which value shows up in your daily life?

  • Which values influence your choices even when no one is watching?

  • Which value most aligns with the ideal version of yourself?

  • What important message or way of living do you wish to share with the world?

  • What feels truly meaningful and fulfilling to you?

 

TAM’S STORY AND PERSONAL INSIGHTS 

Although I had a sense of the things I valued and used that understanding to live more authentically every day, it wasn’t until I explored the full list of core values that I truly gained clarity about my life’s purpose. I started by writing down the 5–7 values from the list above that resonated most with me and reflecting on why they mattered. After carefully examining the reasons, I narrowed it down to my top 1–2 core values—and I was shocked by the result.

At first glance, I assumed my core values would be success or self-development. However, after deeper consideration, I realised my leading value was curiosity. This revelation completely transformed how I view my life. I discovered that in every decision I make—no matter its impact on my goals or financial success—the common thread is my desire to challenge myself and see just how far I can go.

I’m curious about who I could become. I’m curious about the traits new environments might bring out in me. I’m curious about what my full potential looks like. I’m curious about how I can transform myself and the world around me.


One exercise that helped me reach this conclusion was not only answering the questions above but reflecting on what I consider pivotal moments in my life. These weren’t societal milestones like graduating, getting a job promotion, or falling in love. Instead, they were deeply personal achievements that fulfilled me PERSONALLY.


For instance, when I went to university, I developed extroverted traits despite being timid my entire life. Another significant moment was when I launched a third YouTube channel and this newsletter on top of an already packed schedule, purely out of a desire to creatively challenge myself and see where it could lead me personally and professionally.

Understanding that curiosity is my core value has been liberating. I no longer compare myself to how others live because I am confident I’m honouring my unique needs and journey. When others prioritise material goods, large social circles, comfort, travel, or career advancement, I know their choices reflect their core values. My path, on the other hand, is shaped by my curiosity. This clarity has also given me a newfound drive for everyday life. I no longer doubt whether I’m “doing okay.” Instead, I simply ask myself: Does this fulfil my value? If the answer is yes, I feel confident in my choices and how I live.

 

PRACTICAL TRANSFORMATION TIPS FOR FINDING YOUR PURPOSE.

  • Journal about the most pivotal moments in your life and how they made you who are you today - what would you change and what will you bring moving forward?

  • Engage in regular self-discovery. This could look like: finding your core values, spending time on the things you loved doing as a child, reading old diary entries, doing a SWOT analysis of yourself and looking back through your camera roll or life story to find the themes.

  • Focus on your ‘why’ over your ‘what’. So much of the time we confuse ourselves trying to figure out the specifics of what our lives should look like. Truly, you only need to know the reason behind it all. Who are you doing it for? What do you want to leave behind? What will you gain from all this? 

  • Be curious. Although this is my value, I think it's vital to anyone finding themselves. You don't truly understand yourself until you put yourself in unusual places. Experiment with jobs, projects, or environments to explore what aligns with your purpose. Volunteer or mentor in areas you feel drawn to. The connections and experiences can clarify your "why."

  • Honour your pain points. A lot of the time, our adversities can contribute to what we end up doing with our lives, so don't ignore it. Think or journal about what you have survived and how that’s shaped you today. I for one, wouldn’t have anything to film on YouTube or write about here if it wasn’t for the heartbreaks I endured.